Mentally Tough by Ron White

One of the least talked about factors of success is being mentally tough. Mental toughness will allow you to endure adversity, hardship and setbacks, and ultimately achieve success.
The next question is: What does it mean to be mentally tough?

• It means when trouble and heartaches head your way, you are not permanently knocked off the bicycle of life.


• It means when your plan is not going exactly the way you planned, you press on.


• It means when others criticize, you refuse to allow someone else to dictate your thoughts or direction.


• It means you know who you are.


• It means you accept 100% responsibility for every action you have ever taken.
  

Now, if being mentally tough is so crucial to success, how do you become mentally tough?

Some of the most mentally tough people I have ever known are ones that I have served next to in the military. They are mentally tough because the military forces—and I mean forces—you to adopt three behaviors. In the military you will never be allowed to blame someone else, you will be required to be physically fit and you will be given daily goals and you will accomplish them!

The first key to being mentally tough is refusing to be a victim and accepting 100% responsibility for your actions. It is not your parents’ fault, your boss’s fault, the fault of the government or someone you knew when you were a teenager. How in the world can you be mentally tough when you blame others for your lot in life? It is empowering to accept responsibility for your fate.

When you consciously or subconsciously blame another (government, economy, family, etc.) for the outcome of your life, you are significantly reducing the chances of a happy life. This is true because you have given someone else the power to control your thoughts and actions.

Next, become mentally tough by becoming physically tough. Yes, there is a confidence that you will have when your muscles are toned and a walk on the beach does not exhaust you. Now, when I am 85 years old, do I expect to bench press 225 pounds and run four miles a day? Absolutely not! However, I do expect myself to put forth the maximum effort all the time so when I am 35, 45, 55 or 85 I am in the best possible shape for a 35-, 45-, 55- or 85-year-old.

The confidence that comes from being fit is one that can't be found anywhere else. Watch what you eat and exercise. It is crucial to being mentally tough.

Set goals and then accomplish them! How many times do people make New Year’s resolutions only to break them by January 20? This is a much bigger deal than you may think. It is a big deal because subconsciously you are telling your mind, "I can't even keep a New Year’s resolution!" When you tell yourself this subconsciously, you then begin to lose confidence in yourself and every aspect of your life is affected. When someone compliments you, it makes you feel awkward because deep down you think, "Gee, if they only knew that I can't even keep a New Year’s resolution."

Conversely, if you set a small goal of reading a book a month and you accomplish it, your self-confidence begins to build. Subconsciously you are telling yourself, “I am valuable—I am worth it—I can hit my goals—I am successful.” When you see yourself this way, you are well on the way to becoming mentally tough. In military boot camp, you are given a daily goal of folding your underwear in a set pattern and making your bed in a prescribed way. When you accomplish this goal day after day, even though it is so small, it is making a mental deposit into your self-esteem bank account that says you can accomplish goals and are valuable.

Being mentally tough is often the last piece of the puzzle to focus on for success. Yet I know very few successful people who are not mentally tough. It is easier to get there than you think. Become responsible for your life, stay in shape and set and accomplish your goals. When you do, you will exit your own personal boot camp with a confidence to rival that of a Navy SEAL!
—Ron White

When They Keep Saying “No”

We sure don’t like it when potential customers don’t agree to buy from us. Most people don’t like rejection; it’s hard not to take it personally.

The first step to coping with this is to simply be aware of reality. As few as 4% of prospects will say “yes”. If you were expecting more, knowing this may be discouraging. However, let it encourage you, in that if people keep saying no to your offer, it may not be entirely your fault. However, knowing some of the reasons why they say no can help you to develop strategies to improve your results.

You need to have a complete list of prospects. The more people you call on, the more people will say yes, even if you don’t change the percentages of those who say yes.

Are you targeting the right customers? Have you clearly identified “Jack and Diane”? If you are business to business, have you identified the right person within the company? Determine early in your conversation if the person you are meeting with actually has the authority to make a decision; you may want to ask something like, “Who else in your organization will have an impact on any decisions made today?”

Have you taken the time to understand the prospect’s unique situation, and did you then communicate the value you bring – how you can help them avoid pain or acquire something that will make their lives better? This, of course, is done by asking open-ended questions at the beginning of the conversation, getting them to open up, share their concerns. Ask things like, “Where does it hurt?”; “What would you like to see happen?” Or was your discussion really more of a dissertation about all your many years of experience, or how you have this amazing technical know-how or special tools - without any solid connection to the client’s individual needs? Did you talk too much? It’s critical for you to focus on the prospect’s needs rather than your own.

Did you bring all the right ‘sales tools’? (Samples, testimonials, photos, price lists, etc.). Usually when a prospect says no, it’s because they don’t have enough information to make a good decision. They are afraid of making a wrong decision, so they say no because it’s easier.

Near the end of your meeting, how did you ask? Don’t come across as a pushy sales person, but you need to actually ask for the order! Once you have clearly identified their needs, and communicated how your product or service meets those requirements, ask something like, “Do you like what I've shown you?” “Does this make sense to you, so far?”; then “It looks like we have a good fit between what you need and what I do, so would you like us to begin work on Thursday the 12^th or Tuesday the 17^th ?”; “Which colour (size, style, etc.) is preferred?”; “How many would you like…?”; If you simply ask “Do you want to go ahead?” you will usually get “No.” One of my favourite questions that can lead to a ‘yes’ is “Where do we go from here?” When you ask this question, and wait for the answer, it gives you the opportunity to see if you’ve missed something, and / or identify how they want to go ahead.

In summary, target the right kinds of potential clients, ask the right questions to determine needs, clearly communicate your unique selling proposition, then ask for the order, and keep trying!